The Steve Saga
by InjuredPelican
Summary: The Great Steve has arrived and has challenged Goku to a death match, but will Goku achieve victory? Probably not. Does anyone even care about this fic? Probably not.
1. Steve Cometh'

THE STEVE SAGA CHAPTER 1: STEVE COMETH'  
I DON'T OWN DBZ  
  
It was a typical day for Goku. He was training with Gotenks; both were at Super Saiyan 3 fighting their hardest. Just then both Saiyans felt an impressive power level far off; as usual. "Wow this amount of power is like, a lot!" Goku said. "Well, lets go kill it then," Gotenks said. "You can come and watch if you want, but I'm killing it," Goku said. "No way! I'm gonna kill him!" Gotenks argued. "No! I am!" "No!! I am!!" "That's it! Your going down!" Goku yelled.  
  
Then Goku blasted Gotenks into the sky, teleported behind him, and slammed him to the ground. "NO!!! I AM!!!" Gotenks screamed. (This pathetic argument went on for a while until the fusion ended.)  
  
"Bye, losers!" Goku taunted as he left Goten and Trunks beaten to a pulp. Goku flew towards the power reading at the max speed of his Super Saiyan 3, reaching his destination in a few seconds. When Goku arrived, an alien stood before him glowing with dark and evil energy. The alien stood at a height of 7'4" and was covered in armor from head to toe with only his eyes visible. He gripped a massive cruel looking blade and led a company of twenty alien soldiers all with the same black and shiny armor of their master.  
  
"Greetings Saiyan," the leader said to Goku," I am the evil king known as the GREAT STEVE. I've come seeking blood and you're the lucky receiver of death, just because I'm really bored!" "Don't you ever shut up?" Goku asked impatiently. "Why you rude little monkey! Do you have no respect for royalty in the slightest?" Steve asked angrily. "I don't have any respect for a loser like you! And you have a lame name for a villain and I don't lose to people with funny names!" Goku yelled. "Well, I'll show you!" Steve challenged. "Minions! Attack!!"  
All twenty of Steve's company swarmed in on Goku like a dark cyclone of DOOM. Goku of course dodged all of them with ease by rolling out of the way. The minions turned right around and flew at Goku, but this time he charged into them head on, scattering them in all directions. Goku then flew into a group of five, crushing their armor and bones with powerful attacks, and finished them with a kamehameha, frying them all. A lone minion lashed out with a punch only to have his arm broken in five places and his skull smashed in. Two more attacked with spears but Goku stopped the spears with his feet and blasted his enemies through the chest with two ki blasts. The remaining twelve all tackled Goku and pinned him to the ground. Goku kept trying to break free but was pummeled by armored fists in an attempt to contain him.  
  
Then Goku noticed a high power level moving towards them fast. "Oh, no. It can't be him! He'll screw up everything!" Goku said disappointedly. Just then a huge beam of yellow energy engulfed Goku and his enemies and blew them all up. Goku, still in one piece, fell to the ground headfirst and was knocked out cold while pieces of his enemies rained down around him. SS3 Gotenks landed in the middle of the destruction with a smirk on his face. "Heh, heh. I guess that took care of 'em," Gotenks stated triumphantly.  
  
"Well, if it isn't another long haired loser, come to be killed by me," Steve jested. ("Jested?") "I'm not a loser and no way in #$% am I here to be killed by a #$%head like you!" Gotenks replied angrily. "Better watch your tongue, boy, before you make me mad," Steve warned. "Oh alright. But I might have a hard time controlling my fingers," Gotenks joked as he extended both of his middle fingers. "You little #$%&!!" Steve exclaimed angrily. "Now you die, brat!"  
  
Steve lunged at Gotenks and pounded him in the stomach with a punch and slapped him away with the back of his hand. Gotenks retaliated with a kamehameha but Steve barrel rolled and beat Gotenks into the ground with a double fisted attack to his head. Steve flew towards the ground and made a bigger crater with a smash kick to Gotenks chest. Gotenks finally countered with a kamikaze ghost attack, blowing them both into the air. Gotenks then followed up by immobilizing Steve with a ring of energy and a double buster attack. Gotenks stood back as the dust cleared and revealed a still quite alive Steve. "#$%! You're getting annoying," Gotenks stated. "As are you," Steve agreed," but only due to your little mosquito bites you call attacks." "How the #$% do you know what a mosquito is?" Gotenks asked. "It doesn't matter! I remember now that I have a sword so prepare for dismemberment!" Steve screamed with joy.  
  
Steve swung his sword wildly about trying to cleave through Gotenks, but Gotenks just dodged. Finally, Steve hit Gotenks, relieving him of his arm. "OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" Gotenks screamed in pain. "Now you will learn what happens to those who flip me off!" Steve said as he held his sword to Gotenks neck. Then with one swing he sliced off Gotenks head ending the fusion's life almost instantly." HA, HA, HA!!!" Steve laughed out loud. Steve continued to laugh to himself for about an hour like the crazed maniac he is.  
  
Goku awoke to the sight of his enemies, now all reduced to smoldering pieces and ash. "Man, Gotenks is so stupid. I'm going to kill him to death. I'll murder him!" Goku said to himself. Then he flew to where Steve's power reading was coming from.  
"Where have you been? I've been waiting here for at least an hour!" Steve complained as Goku landed. "If this relationship is going to last then you'd best get yourself together boy!" "What the heck are you talking about? And where's Gotenks?" Goku asked. "What's with all the questions, sailor?" Steve asked gay like. "I'm not a sailor," Goku corrected. "But of course not," Steve said," anyways, If you must know Gotenks is pushing up daisies." "Darn it, I wanted to kill him,' Goku said disappointedly. "Oh, boo, hoo," Steve taunted. "Don't cry," Goku said. "I was making fun of you!" Steve said angrily. "Are you that stupid?" "NO! Now you really ticked me off!" Goku yelled in rage. "Prepare for Super Saiyan 3!"  
  
Goku began to channel all his energy and started glowing gold. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This lasted for thirty minutes!)  
  
"Hurry it up already! Time is deaths to be caused," Steve yelled impatiently. Goku then stopped. "Dude!!! Now I have to start all over! Thanks a lot!" Goku said angrily. "What!? That's just stupid, gay, and idiotic all at the same time!!" Steve yelled. "It is not!" Goku protested. "Take that back!!" "No!!" "Then you can just forget about our fight!" Goku threatened. "Don't be like that!" Steve replied. "I will if I want to!" Goku exclaimed. "Alright, I'm sorry!" Steve apologized. "I don't think your SS3 sucks, okay. In fact I actually like it." "Really?" Goku asked. "Yes, I do. So you go ahead and turn into your stu-er, I mean awesome SS3." "Yay!" Goku rejoiced as he readied his power up.  
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
(This lasted a whole hour)  
Finally, Goku was finished transforming. Goku then got into his fighting stance. "Alright! Now for your death!" Goku screamed meniacly. "About time!" Steve sighed.  
  
Goku and Steve lunged at each other at 1 million mph and began beat the crap out of eachother. Goku landed a kick to Steve's forehead and five punches to his gut. Steve countered with a heal kick to the groin and shins, and followed up with swinging Goku around by his tail. Steve launched Goku into a rocky hill, causing an explosion of dirt and stones. Goku emerged unscathed and clotheslined Steve hard and then did a powerbombed him into a particularily spiney cactus. Steve pushed off from the cactus and spun kick Goku in the face, smacking him 30 times.  
  
"Okay I'm bored," Goku said. "What do you mean? We are equals," Steve stated. "Hardly," Goku scoffed. "Buh-Bye!" Goku taunted as he blasted Steve into nothingness. "Well, I guess I should wish back Trunks and Goten," Goku said to himself. Then he flew off towards the lookout.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!! NEXT CHAPTER: GOKU'S LUCK RUNS OUT REVIEW AT 


	2. Perfect Steve Arrives

THE STEVE SAGA CHAPTER 2:Perfect Steve Arrives

I DON'T OWN DBZ

Goku set foot on the lookout tiling and was greeted by Piccolo.

"Hey Goku what are you doing here? And why are you a SS3?" Piccolo asked curiously.

"Shut up! I'm asking the questions around here!" Goku said angrily.

"There's no need for hostility," Piccolo said calmly.

"If I wanted to hear from a butt I woul have farted!" Goku replied.

"You're really testing my patience!" Piccolo warned.

"Ooh, am I making the martian man mad?" Goku taunted.

"Just tell me what you #$& want darnit!" Piccolo yelled angrily.

"I want the dragonballs, stupid."

"You're the #$& dragon you stupid #$&!!!" Piccolo screamed. "Now get the #$ out of here!"

"Geeze, sorry mister senesetive," Goku said. Then he flew back to where he had fought Steve. He landed and resurrected both Trunks and Goten. All of a sudden, Steve reappeared once again but with a much higher power level. Steve fired two beams of energy through Goten and Trunks' chests, killing them instantly.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Goku said displeased.

"Ha, ha! I bet you weren't expecting me to show up again, did ya?" Steve said gleefully.

"Actually, knowing the author's lack of intellegence, I knew you'd show up again," Goku explained.

"You sure you should be talking about the author like that?" Steve asked worriedly.

"Of course! He can't do nothin' to me. I'll show you." Goku then pulled down his pants and began mooning the author. "Yeah, what do you think of that, poophead?!" Goku challenged. Then the sky opened up and a man with shimmering robes floated down.

"Who are you?" Goku asked pulling his pants up.

"I am the servant of the author and I hereby announce Steve is now able to kill Goku," the robed man said.

"What? That's nonsense! I'm a Super Saiyan 4 for Pete's sake!" Goku argued as he ascended to SS4.

"Well you aren't now," the servant waved his hand and Goku lost all his strength. "Good day." Steve then blew Goku to pieces.

"Well that was unfulfilling," Steve said disappointedly."Hey! Maybe Vegeta will be fun to kill." Steve then flew off to West City in search of the Saiyan prince.

To Be Continued...

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	3. Steve VS Vegeta

THE STEVE SAGA CHAPTER 3: Perfect Steve V.S. Vegeta

I DON'T OWN DBZ

(West City)  
"Bulma?!" Vegeta yelled.

"What?!" Bulma asked while climbing up the stairs of Capsule Corp. to talk to Vegeta.

"I'm going out for a while so don't worry about dinner," Vegeta told her.

"Where are you going?" Bulma asked.

"Out!" Vegeta then flew out through the window and transformed into Super Saiyan 4.

"He's going to fight! And if he's going as a SS4 this enemy must be bad!" Bulma worried.

Vegeta landed in the middle of the street seeing his opponent.

"I wasn't expecting to fight a rug with pants! Steve scoffed.

"Shut up before I make you!" Vegeta yelled. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Well I just got done killing Goku and felt very unimpressed," Steve explained as Vegeta some what stepped back," as for my name, I am Perfect Steve."

"Y-you killed Kakkarot?" Vegeta asked shocked and confused.

"No, I killed Goku," Steve corrected. "The stupid monkey isn't hearing too well I think."

"That's what I meant you stupid piece of poo!" Vegeta yelled in frustration.

"You clearly said Kakkarot," Steve argued.

"All right, idiot, your death is assured!"

"Well, now I'm really scar..." Steve was interupted by Vegeta's fist being smashed into his eye.

"Die now!" Vegeta launched his galick gun attack into Steve's chest. Vegeta landed fifty punches to Steve's face and finished with a spinning heel kick, busting his opponents jaw, and knocked Steve down through a bus. Steve spat up some blood and then fired a massive beam of energy into Vegeta's face. Vegeta was catapulted through automobiles and traffic lights when he finaly collided with the public library. Vegeta emerged nearly undamaged, but he did have a nasty scowl filled with anger.

"You're getting annoying," Vegeta tackled Steve hard, launching him into a postoffice. "Welcome to Super Vegeta's Big Bang Attack!" Vegeta let loose the humongous blast of ki, completely engulfing a quarter of the city. The smoke began to clear and Vegeta could see pieces of Steve laying about. "Heh, heh. Maybe you're not as tough as you say," Vegeta scoffed.

To Be Continued...

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